


Of Stilettos and Stellar Flips

by fieldoffantasies



Series: Shenanigans [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Agender Obi-Wan Kenobi, GFY, Gen, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, obi-wan told gender to kriff off, this started out as probably crack and then it grew a mild amount of plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fieldoffantasies/pseuds/fieldoffantasies
Summary: Quinlan Vos pulls Obi-Wan Kenobi into one of his missions. Obi-Wan is not thrilled with Quinlan's decisions. Featuring Obi-Wan in stilettos and chaos person Quinlan Vos.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Quinlan Vos
Series: Shenanigans [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202723
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	Of Stilettos and Stellar Flips

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank my friends in the Deadcat's Domain discord for coming up with the initial idea of Obi-Wan doing Ataru in stilettos and ideas for Obi-Wan's clothing. Hope you all enjoy!

Obi-Wan had been prepared for a day consisting of lessons and maybe trying to shove their Master out of the archives when they received a comm from the Council summoning them for a mission briefing. So following the directive, Obi-Wan ventured to the Council chambers expecting they’d meet their Master there. Surprisingly, when they arrived, Obi-Wan was greeted by one Quinlan Vos looking far too happy. “Obi-Wan!”

“Quinlan.” Obi-Wan replied far more sedately suddenly very, very concerned about why they were there. Anything involving Quinlan was bound to be chaotic at the very least. “Why are we here?”

“For a mission briefing of course!”

Obi-Wan’s voice edged into dangerous territory. “Let me restate that, why am I here with you Knight Vos instead of with my Master who typically brings me on missions?” 

Unfortunately for Obi-Wan, it was at that point the door opened and Master Windu’s voice called “Knight Vos, Padawan Kenobi, come in.” 

Shooting a glare at Quinlan, Obi-Wan walked into the chamber ready to find out what in the galaxy was going on that involved Quinlan and them going on the same mission. 

Once Obi-Wan and Quinlan were standing in the center of the chamber, Master Windu continued “Padawan Kenobi, Knight Vos recently gathered intel about an underground criminal ring here on Coruscant that we need a team to infiltrate. Due to your skill sets and experiences, the Council has decided that you are the ideal candidate to accompany Knight Vos.”

At this, Obi-Wan was confused. What skills could they possess that an older Knight or Master lacked? Luckily Master Windu continued speaking, “Due to the circumstances surrounding this mission, we needed someone near Knight Vos’s age to accompany him and he recommended you. The Council agreed with his recommendation. We will send you a data packet, but we expect that Knight Vos will fill you in with the majority of the pertinent information prior to your departure tonight as you both prepare. You are both dismissed.”

Well, that answered all of Obi-Wan’s questions. They had a bad feeling about this. Quinlan had no such feelings as the moment they were out of the Council chambers he grabbed Obi-Wan’s arm with a gloved hand, yelled “Come on Obi!” and started dragging him along the hallway.

“What the kriff Quin?” Obi-Wan protested. “Why me? What’s going on? Where are we going?”

“You’re my friend, there’s some people we need to get rid of, and my rooms.” 

It was at times like these Obi-Wan really disliked Quinlan. Not hate though, Jedi didn’t hate.

~~~

Once they made it inside Quinlan’s rooms, Obi-Wan turned on him. “Answers. Now.”

Quinlan sighed. “There’s an underground criminal ring operating in the lower levels selling harmful substances to younger sentients. We’re going to stop them. Now let me get you dressed.”

“Why can’t I dress myself?”

“Because this is my undercover mission Obi which means I have all the information. Also, they’re using a nightclub as a front and we all know you have no idea how to dress for that.”

“I do too!”

“Last time our friends went out, you wore the most sedate outfit possible Obi. I can’t let you get away with that.”

Reflecting on Quinlan’s idea of appropriate outfits for going most places outside of missions, Obi-Wan was not thrilled to see what the next many hours had in store for them.

~~~

Apparently, Quinlan’s idea of an appropriate outfit for Obi-Wan involved obscene amounts of glitter and stiletto boots. He’d also added long extensions into Obi-Wan’s hair stating that they “needed to hide that padawan braid somehow. Anyways, they look great on you Obi! Also, that padawan cut doesn’t do you any favors by default.” He had then arranged them into a complicated braided hairstyle that Obi-Wan was sure they’d be able to recreate approximately never - not that they had any plans to do so. They were also pretty sure that some of the pins Quinlan had used were actually small knives. At this point, Obi-Wan was wondering what their actual clothing would consist of as Quinlan had delayed that to prevent getting too much glitter on them prematurely. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what the delay would change as there already glitter everywhere ready to spread onto anything they touched.

Finally, Quinlan emerged from his closet holding multiple outfits and looking excited. Obi-Wan eyed them skeptically. “Where am I supposed to hide my lightsaber with any of those outfits Quin?”

“Places. Anyways, all these outfits are more than they appear at first glance Obi. The fabric is all blaster proof and they all have hidden pockets.”

Obi-Wan picked up a long tunic that appeared to be made of sheer chiffon layers more than anything else. “How exactly is this supposed to hide anything?”

Quinlan smiled. “A few of those layers are made of a reflective, metallic looking material. It hides the shiny things with additional shiny. If you’re really concerned, you can shove your lightsaber in your boots or a thigh holster.”

“And this?” Obi-Wan picked up what looked like a skimpy imitation of the traditional Jedi outfit. 

“Jedi dancers are a thing right now. They wear fake lightsabers. Who besides a Jedi can tell a real lightsaber from a fake one?”

Obi-Wan moved onto the third and final option. It was a corseted waistcoat paired with a shirt that had billowy, sheer sleeves, tight leggings, and a short cape. “Quin, this is the only sensible looking option available. I feel like you’re trying to get me to go on this mission half-naked.”

Quinlan grinned. “But that’d be so much fun. Anyhow, that one has specially lined pockets in the boning of the waistcoat for the flexible vibroknives we don’t let the galaxy at large know exist and the back is structured so you should be able to stick your lightsaber there without anyone noticing even without the cape. The cape is just there for extra obfuscation.”

“I hate you Quinlan Vos.”

“Jedi don’t hate Obi.”

~~~

Obi-Wan was absolutely thrilled to be escaping Quinlan Vos’s rooms where they had been trapped most of the day. What they were not thrilled about was the remainder of the night. Obi-Wan still had a bad feeling about the entire thing. “Why do you get a relatively normal for you outfit?”

“Because they already know me and therefore I don’t have to make new impressions. Also, you make a pretty excellent distraction and I already possess an excellent sense of fashion.”

Obi-Wan glared at him. “I am not here as eye-candy Quinlan Vos!”

“Of course not, however, my very eye-catching friend, you make the perfect distraction while I sneak around and touch all their things to figure out what’s going on and where we should go to end this entire operation.”

“And why couldn’t anyone else do this?”

“I needed an excellent fighter along who tolerates me. You fit perfectly!”

That settled it, after this mission Obi-Wan was taking revenge somehow. 

Arriving at the nightclub went smoothly, Obi-Wan and Quinlan melted in with the crowd and for all intents and purposes, appeared to simply be two young people enjoying themselves. Some people who recognized Quinlan came up to talk with them and Quin introduced Obi-Wan to everyone as Ben. Obi-Wan did not like the situation. There were too many people, too many unknowns, and way too many pairs of eyes on them. Eventually, Quinlan got pulled to the side by someone who Obi-Wan distrusted immediately. 

“Hey Ben, they want to talk to me about something. I’ll be right back.” Obi-Wan did not trust that statement, they did not like that they had been separated from Quinlan with no knowledge of his destination or when he would return, and they still had the feeling that something was going to happen and soon. 

“Hey Obi.” Quinlan’s voice was in their ear but they couldn't feel his force presence or see him anywhere nearby. “So I managed to sneak a small comm unit into your hair. And um, things did not go well on my end. I’m hiding from the people we’re looking for and this operation is huge. Get out of the club while you still can and try to get a few levels down, that’s where their base that I’m stuck in is. Gotta move.”

Obi-Wan was going to rescue the idiot Vos and then dye all of his clothes swamp green for getting them into this mess. They could have spent the day learning and reading and generally relaxing beyond the required work and saber practice and instead they were attempting to subtly leave a nightclub where they literally sparkled every time a light hit them. They were never letting Quinlan come anywhere near them with glitter ever again. 

They managed to get out without anyone following them somehow and dropped down a few levels to wait for Quinlan to contact them again. It was not a long wait.

“So Obi I’ve managed to find somewhere relatively secure for now and sliced into their databases for the information we need to send teams out and collapse their entire system. Now I really need some type of distraction to get out of here without them noticing I took anything. Soon would be great.”

When Quinlan got new clothes, Obi-Wan was going to also dye those swamp green. They wondered if there was a way to infuse Yoda’s stew into the water supply for Quinlan’s quarters specifically. They palmed their lightsaber and followed their sense of Quinlan in the force towards a door that had someone who was presumably a guard standing in front of it. Obi-Wan strolled up to them and said “Hello darling, I don’t suppose you’ve seen a Kiffar with yellow qukuuf wandering around anywhere? I seem to have lost him.”

“Can’t say I have.”

“Oh well. I don’t suppose I can get through that door behind you to continue looking?”

The guard’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “No, I don’t think you can.”

“Ah, well that’s unfortunate. I’m afraid I need to go through there to get to my friend you see.”

“What are you going to do, fight me in those heels?”

“I’m afraid so.” Obi-Wan responded while igniting their lightsaber. The guard’s smirk dropped and they quickly fired off a few shots with their blaster. Unfortunately for them, Obi-Wan was experienced against blaster fire and quickly deflected the shots, neatly flipped over them when they attempted to charge, and knocked them out from behind. “So uncivilized, I hope that someone cutting through a door with a lightsaber is sufficient distraction.” 

It turned out that taking out a door with a lightsaber was flashy enough to draw the majority of the people defending the facility to them and Quinlan was able to slip out without issues. The problem with such a distraction was that Obi-Wan then had to fight them. Luckily, they all seemed shocked at the fact that Obi-Wan could perfectly complete Ataru flips over their heads in their stilettos. It made Obi-Wan’s job significantly easier.

Quinlan notified Obi-Wan when he got out. “Hey Obi, I’m out, I’ve summoned the appropriate people to clean up this mess, and we can go. I’m by where you entered.”

With that, Obi-Wan made their graceful exit ready to make good on their new plan to flop into bed as soon as they could divest themselves of glitter. Though maybe a certain someone’s couch might be a better target. For long term annoyance. Definitely not revenge. Jedi don’t do revenge. They easily found Quinlan and the pair walked away as if they’d simply had a nice night out.

~~~

“Hey Obi, how’d you get so good at fighting in stilettos?”

“You put me in those shoes and you didn’t even know if I could fight in them!”

“Eh, I knew you’d be fine.”

“Quinlan Vos, you are a terrible friend.”

“Just tell me.”

“The whiny four year old voice doesn’t suit you. If you must know, Master Dooku insists on everyone in his lineage being able to fight and operate in all types of footwear. He believes that if we can’t, we’re a disgrace to the Jedi Order as a whole. As stilettos are extremely difficult to walk in to start with, we received extensive training in them.”

“Wait, does this mean Master Dooku owns stilettos and actually uses them?”

“Yes Quin. Now let’s get back to the temple, debrief with the Council, and be done with this.”

**Author's Note:**

> This all started with the idea of Dooku in stripper heels and now we're here. Thanks for reading!


End file.
